Comments on: Family, Money, and Loans http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/ The best of the blogosphere every week Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:44:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Revanche http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/comment-page-1/#comment-26858 Revanche Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:23:56 +0000 http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/?p=430#comment-26858 Paul: Thanks for weighing in! Ron: Yes, inequity in lending and the power transfer involved are other potential sore points I didn't mention. There are nuances in every familial relationship that make lending/giving a bit of a minefield. FB: Absolutely. Sarah K: Now that is a fine example of gracious lending and repayment. Your mom did a great job, as did you and your sibs! Paul: Thanks for weighing in!

Ron: Yes, inequity in lending and the power transfer involved are other potential sore points I didn’t mention. There are nuances in every familial relationship that make lending/giving a bit of a minefield.

FB: Absolutely.

Sarah K: Now that is a fine example of gracious lending and repayment. Your mom did a great job, as did you and your sibs!

]]> By: Sarah K. http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/comment-page-1/#comment-26705 Sarah K. Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:21:47 +0000 http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/?p=430#comment-26705 I borrowed money for grad school from my mom, and paid her off promptly in installments as soon as I landed a job. It worked out well because I was more anxious to get the debt paid off than she was to get the money back(!). She has helped my siblings in similar ways at various points. As far as I know, those loans all went well, and got repaid too. She told me up front, "I'm happy that I can help my kids, and I'm not going to bug you about this. Pay me back when you can." I think she went into it with the same attitude that you're suggesting. The attitude of the party on the receiving end of the loan is important, too. I treated the loan the same way I treated my car loan from the bank. I think Mom was even a little sad when I paid her off (after about 16 months), because each month I put in a little note with my check saying how things were going. (I guess I didn't treat the loan EXACTLY like a bank loan...) Which reminds me...think I'll go drop Mom a line now! :-) I borrowed money for grad school from my mom, and paid her off promptly in installments as soon as I landed a job. It worked out well because I was more anxious to get the debt paid off than she was to get the money back(!).

She has helped my siblings in similar ways at various points. As far as I know, those loans all went well, and got repaid too.

She told me up front, “I’m happy that I can help my kids, and I’m not going to bug you about this. Pay me back when you can.” I think she went into it with the same attitude that you’re suggesting.

The attitude of the party on the receiving end of the loan is important, too. I treated the loan the same way I treated my car loan from the bank. I think Mom was even a little sad when I paid her off (after about 16 months), because each month I put in a little note with my check saying how things were going. (I guess I didn’t treat the loan EXACTLY like a bank loan…)

Which reminds me…think I’ll go drop Mom a line now! :-)

]]> By: FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/comment-page-1/#comment-26697 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:32:21 +0000 http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/?p=430#comment-26697 I have never given a loan to any of my family members, and if I did, it'd be a gift that I could afford to let go. It is just so much harder to think about money when it comes to family and friends. I have never given a loan to any of my family members, and if I did, it’d be a gift that I could afford to let go.

It is just so much harder to think about money when it comes to family and friends.

]]> By: Ron http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/comment-page-1/#comment-26642 Ron Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:36:28 +0000 http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/?p=430#comment-26642 Borrowing money between family members is hard on everyone. Back 12 years ago, I borrowed $1,200 from my father and mother so I could move my family out of state to a new job. I was hounded for repayment by my mother who didn't support our move but at the same time, my little brother, who borrowed $27,000 from them and never paid it back, was never questioned. Borrowing money between family members is hard on everyone. Back 12 years ago, I borrowed $1,200 from my father and mother so I could move my family out of state to a new job. I was hounded for repayment by my mother who didn’t support our move but at the same time, my little brother, who borrowed $27,000 from them and never paid it back, was never questioned.

]]> By: Paul @ FiscalGeek http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/family-money-and-loans-430/comment-page-1/#comment-26620 Paul @ FiscalGeek Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:03:29 +0000 http://carnivalofpersonalfinance.com/?p=430#comment-26620 Wow, very well said and something I've learned to adopt as well. The last thing I want is someone I love to feel in debt to me, if I have the money and the need is there, I'll give it. If I don't have the means or I'm not comfortable with the gift then the answer's no. Wow, very well said and something I’ve learned to adopt as well. The last thing I want is someone I love to feel in debt to me, if I have the money and the need is there, I’ll give it. If I don’t have the means or I’m not comfortable with the gift then the answer’s no.

]]>