(Technically, the statement is really: men and women act differently about money.)

Our running joke has always been that PiC’s always wanted a sugar mama, hardyhar.

Some of his professional friends have responded the same way: “why the heck wouldn’t I want her to? More money is more money is more good!”

To which I say: Duh. But so far, that couple hasn’t faced that reality.

Well, it’s becoming quite real for us, now. Because as it turns out, “doing something about it” (it being our wage gap between the genders) means that this year, I am pulling even with my husband and have solid plans to outpace him. We are some years apart and he made a healthy salary coming into the workforce, multiples of my entry to the workplace salary close to the same time as he had more education.

Slightly rankled with myself at the time (see: competitiveness in previous post), I made a resolution to fix that. I am making more at my age than he did at the same age. And this after 12 yrs of working not-for-my-parents, and several years after college but without the higher graduate school.

I love my husband with the warmth of Endor’s sun but this tastes sweet.

Now I have to up my game and steamroll a couple of my best friends. I know they’re making more than me. I don’t compare apples to apples, unless we’re talking medical professions, I’m going to play to win anyway.

Perhaps it doesn’t yet affect our attitudes towards each other or feel real because we’re combining accounts at a snail’s pace, and it’s also offset by the fact that I still lose a significant portion of income to supporting my dad each month. But I’m on track to continue to make more through annual and/or negotiated raises and we are well aware that I simply have higher earning potential. In part because of the choices I made, the conscious pushes for more by strategic choices and negotiations, and in part because of his choices.

Without significant change in career paths like going into management or further education, he won’t be in a position to compete with me. He does great work where he is but the room to grow is strictly structured. So while there’s no doubt he’s immensely proud of me, the question comes up: how does he feel about it?

So far, I don’t see any negative impact. If anything, perhaps because I’m a little less wound tightly, perhaps because with more income from me, our Bay household expenses feel less constrictive, we’ve been a lot more at ease generally. Not unstressed but we’re not snapping at each other over stupid little things. And it probably helps that we simply don’t discuss money with anyone (my rule).

He is perfectly comfortable discussing money with his family but I long ago put the kibosh on sharing our money and particularly my salary with them or anyone else we haven’t agreed on together. I talk about quite a lot in principle and theory freely but I don’t let those particulars out into the wild for a lot of reasons.

More so now than ever. I hate to say it but I suspect that, given the reactions of all his family and friends to recent events, they’re traditional and patriarchal and would likely have far more to say than I care to hear on the subject of who outearns who.

Thus far, our personal experience has been basically fine.

In your experience or opinion, how would you feel about a wage gap if your male or female partner made more than you did?

The Editor’s Picks:

Financial Highway: Common Interview Questions and Answers

Boomer & Echo: Pitfalls Of Chasing The Highest Dividend Yield

Bible Money Matters: How to Setup a Custodial Account for a Minor to Help Them Save or Invest

Grumpy Rumblings of the Untenured: How to wash dishes: Beyond Frugality

Prairie Eco Thrifter: Start Small; Dream Big: Achieving Financial Security from Small Beginnings

Thanks to SB for hosting and participants for submitting!

Next week, we have Graduating With a Surplus scheduled to take the helm.

Her Editor’s Picks:

Free Money Finance: Financial Rules that Work and Don’t Work

Watson Inc: Why Do The Rich Get Richer?

Wealthcare For Women: 3 Characteristics Of A True Wealth Manager.

Thanks to everyone for participating and be sure to link back to your favorite posts!

Next week, One Cent at a Time will be our host.

His Editor’s Picks:

Can I Retire Yet?: Is the 4% Safe Withdrawal Rate Obsolete?

One Smart Dollar: What is the Best Day to Buy Specific Items

Family Money Values: Parents As Resources for Adult Children

Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance: Why I Don’t Invest in Individual Stocks Anymore

Bible Money Matters: Paying Down Debt with Gazelle Intensity? How Much of an Emergency Fund Do You Need?

Thanks to all the participants – be sure to link back if you’re included and share your favorite posts.

Tune in next week when Money Talks Coaching hosts!

• Have you ever heard someone complain that jobs just aren’t out there?

Or submit resumes stuffed full of buzzwords, slang, and assertions that they have experience in particular skill sets earned from having been around people performing that job?

Or give an interested recruiter/hiring manager a laundry list of reasons why they can’t take phone calls at this time or that date?

• Have you ever heard someone state unequivocally that they’d never work for less than $XX,XXX?

• Have you ever heard someone refuse to take an interview after complaining about the job market?

Or accept and not show up at all without cancelling?

• Have you ever heard someone ask for two days to consider a job offer?

I’ve been on the job hunt many times. During the boom economy, it wasn’t terrible, and during the recession, it kind of was. I’ve crafted and recrafted my cover letters and resumes a thousand times and submitted them into the endless maws of applications. I’ve had uncomfortable job interviews where it was clear that we weren’t a good fit for each other and at least one where I was eager for the end. I’ve had great interviews where it felt like we were a great fit and yet the result wasn’t what I had expected.

I’ve had the dubious learning experience of watching really bad managers hire for largely HR-contradicted (read: illegal) reasons and manage poorly.

In these past few years, I’ve been seated on the other side of the table making these hiring decisions myself. I walked into it seeing an incredible responsibility to myself as a future manager of these hires and to the applicants to conduct a fair and robust process.

It was sobering.

I’m still convinced that there are a lot of good people looking for work, just as I think there are good employers out there.

But on this side of the curtain, I didn’t believe some of the behaviors and decision making I was seeing that made me ask: why am I working harder to try to give you a job than you are to get it?

There’s a lot of great standard advice out there for jobseekers to, as much as possible, demystify a largely hit or miss matchmaking operation and a lot of it is good for every applicant to use and refine from there. Not everyone is born star level status in their field so start with a solid foundation.

: Exercise good judgment. If not your own, borrow someone else’s. You know who they are.

: Don’t Lie. Don’t stretch the truth. Don’t overreach with the facts.

: Have someone proofread your work. Twice.

Focus on what matters: the impression you’re making

I actually don’t care about who the cover letter is addressed to: Sir or Madam, To Whom it May Concern. Generics are fine; if you go to the trouble of researching who the hiring manager is, then make sure you have the right person. 99% of applicants address their cover letter to the wrong person. That doesn’t matter.

It’s the person who decides to go the extra mile (of absurdity) that stands out: in a bad way.

From a few years ago: “I would happily fetch your coffee and [your preferred reading material].”  Cute. Funny when you get the person you meant it for, but not actually professional or funny when that quickly conveyed a lack of understanding of the role.

Think about what your words and actions say about your judgment and decision-making abilities to the person in charge. That’s what matters.

Game playing and real content

Another common trend I see is applicants trying to make themselves appear to be hot commodities using tricks and by playing hard to get.

Using buzzwords to answer a question when I’ve asked for a specific example is not an answer; if you realize you lack the experience that I’m asking for then address that directly with real reasons why I should not be worried. Show me you have a brain and that you can solve problems. Because when I work harder than a candidate in the interview, I will move on. This should be very nearly a partnership: I didn’t play games when I dated, I don’t play games when I manage, I will not play games when I hire.

Whatever the shape of the economy, people are not only unemployed but underemployed. I personally believe in offering a fair interviewing process, and so do a lot of HR people and recruiters that I know and work with.  It’d be decent to meet them (us) halfway.

Beginner or moderate level notwithstanding, everyone, applicant and hiring manager alike, deserves respect in what’s already generally a nerve-wracking and (levels vary) stressful situation for the former and time-consuming and high-stakes job for the latter.
—————
Continue Career Week Reading at A Gai Shan Life
Career Life: Securing the battlements for a promotion
Career Life: Taking the Castle, Part 2

Her Editor’s Picks:

Nicole and Maggie: Should kids have to take a minimum wage job when they’re teens?

The Financial Blogger: 12 tactics to build up a money-making blog,

Narrow Bridge Finance: Why I hate people who give bad tips.

Boomer & Echo: 10 Fees that are actually worth it

Weakonomics: The six kinds of employees

Thanks to everyone for hosting and participating; remember to submit your best posts for next week when My Personal Finance Journey is our host.

His Editor’s Picks:

Well Heeled Blog: My Confession: Cheap Wedding Band

Prairie Eco Thrifter: Why Being Rich Is Overrated

Frugal Follies: What the 1940 census taught me about saving money

Penny Thots: You Think Personal Finance Is Simple? Think Again

Bargaineering: How to Generate One Time Use Disposable Credit Card Numbers

Thanks for hosting, David, and thanks to all our participants!

Next week, eemusings of Musings of an Abstract Aucklander will be hosting so be sure to submit your best posts for consideration!

Her Editor’s Picks:

Bargaineering.com: Netspend & Receiving Cards You Didn’t Apply For

Free Snatcher: 5 Tips to Help You Become Debt Free

One Cent At A Time: Live Like in Early 19th Century to Become Debt Free

Life [Comma] Etc: Unemployment Tips

The College Investor: How You Can Use SWOT Analysis for Investments

Planting Money Seeds: Being Social Online Can Help You Find Freelance Gigs

Balance Junkie: Are You Ready for a Change?

One Money Design: Natural Foods Cost More: Are They Worth It?

Free From Broke: What Do Your Property Taxes Pay For?

Next week will be hosted by Start Talking Cents; be sure to submit your best posts by Sunday afternoon.

His Editor’s Picks:

• Sustainable Personal Finance: Nobody Cares what You Think


• See Debt Run: Ain’t Too Proud to Use a Big Bird Spoon


• Nicole and Maggie: Grumpy Rumblings: Fie on the residents of [state]


• Retire Happy Blog: Active investing or passive investing – Which is better?

Tune in next week when The Money Drain is our host – and be sure to submit your best posts for consideration!

Her Editor’s Picks:

Control Your Cash: IPOs for Beginners

Diva In Debt:  Investing Fundamentals for Women – Business & Financial Acumen

Credit, Eh: Paying Down Debt: One of the Best Investments in Your Future

Frugal Cool: Be good to the future you

Free From Broke: What is Mortgage Amortization and How Does it Work?

Thanks to our host and contributors for making this week’s carnival!
Next week will be hosted by THE Canadian Personal Finance Site.

Her Editor’s Picks:

Yes, I Am Cheap: Where Can You Get A Loan in Tough Times?

Financial Uproar: Dammit People, Enough With The Hard-on About Vacations

Narrow Bridge Finance: Eight Cheap Date Ideas That Don’t Break The Bank

Watson Inc: Is it Better To Be Frugal or Earn More?

DollarVersity: Stop With The Evil Credit Card Crap Already

Youngandthrifty: My Experience with Home Insurance

Squirrelers: Successfully Contesting a Vehicle Citation or Traffic Ticket

My Journey to Millions: Do You Know Your Monthly Nut?

Tie the Money Knot: 7 Tips on Disclosing Finances Before Marriage

I Am 1 Percent: You Are Already The 1 Percent

Next week, NerdWallet will be taking on hosting duties so be sure to submit your best posts for consideration!

Flights of fancy were fun but they also tended to trigger an obsessive need to do math. Money math, the kind that leads to speculation and planning and wondering: “can you actually pull this off if….”

I can (and did) run the numbers with just about any big dreamable purchase: a house, a horse, a car, a really big trip. After I’ve satisfied myself that I could have it if I really wanted, under X, Y, or Z conditions, I either filed it away to become part of the grand life/career plan and budget, or I just filed it.

Conventional wisdom typically suggests that housing should cost no more than approximately 40% of your gross take home pay and very few other significant purchases come with even that much of a cautionary tagline. I think 40% or even 30% of your gross is an overcommitment of resources when, and this describes many people, you’re not on a rapidly increasing income.  But I am rather fiscally conservative.

In a relatively stable economy people may earn moderate to good increases which range anywhere between 2-8% depending on the inflation rate, but there’s also an accompanying cost of living increase that has to be assumed.

On that basis, I keep in mind that when I explore housing expenses or do any sort of related math, I am both planning to keep the cost to what I consider a reasonable amount and looking at maximizing my wages to accommodate the new spending and the savings at that life stage. Rather than assuming simple lifestyle inflation, I assume overall growth over time to allow for That Thing.

The sequence of math goes something like this:

• How many times my salary is that?


• How many times my disposable income? (for a reality check)


• How many times my disposable income plus a portion of my savings rate? (for a gleam of whether it’d be possible)


• And then, how much would I need to make to live my current lifestyle and be able to save enough to buy that house?

But let’s say my salary was a respectable $50,000. That would still be many times my salary. $850K is 17x that gross salary. $850K is 20.5x the net salary assuming a 17% effective tax rate.

And if I saved at least 20% of my salary between pre-tax and net-check savings vehicles, that leaves about $33K. I wouldn’t stop this savings since one needs a cash cushion after buying property!

With presumed living expenses of $30000, that leaves $3000 of annual disposable income. That’d be used for things like gifts and travel that aren’t strictly necessary.  Clearly, $850K is many times my disposable income but if I were to substitute in my “current” housing expenses, that still wouldn’t begin to make a dent in that pile of cost, would it?

So, I would need to increase my income by at least 70% to create enough extra cash flow to even think about looking at something like this.

I’m making it really quite simplistic, of course.  A substantial enough down payment which would reduce the loan size would factor into the math, interest rates, details, etc., and so on, but this, as I said this is really just an exercise.

The real fun (Nerd Alert!?) was that it primed my imagination, and gave me concrete goals to aim toward for earnings and career stages every time I found another really cool Thing.

How do you satisfy that itch when you’ve ogled and perhaps cannot have, yet?

Her Editor’s Picks:

I Am 1 Percent: You Will Die: One Of The Few Things That Are A Certainty

Saving Advice: Recapturing Wasted Time

PT Money Personal Finance: The Cost of Living Off the Grid

Grumpy Rumblings of the Untenured: Target Date Funds Primer

Money Cactus: Hyperbolic Discounting: Why your decisions are already made before you make them

Well Heeled Blog: What Losing Weight Taught Me About Saving Money

Bible Money Matters: Paying Down Debt Should Be Like Interval Training

Next week’s Carnival will be hosted by Thirty Six Months; be sure to submit your best posts by Sunday afternoon!

Editor’s Picks:

Grumpy Rumblings of the Untenured: Thoughts on spouses and careers

Free From Broke: Marginal Tax Rate VS Effective Tax Rate – What are They and How do They Affect You?

Don’t Quit Your Day Job… President Obama Is a Bigger Tax Cutter Than George Bush

PT Money Personal Finance: Should I Consolidate My Student Loans?

Shared Financial Success: Hot to be rich

Christian Personal Finance: How to use FreeCycle to Save Money And Reduce Clutter

Musings of an Abstract Aucklander: Tom and Lynette, you’re breaking my heart

Bible Money Matters: Would You Invest a Portion of Your Emergency Fund

Boomer & Echo: Finances From A To Z

Free Money Finance: Change the way you think

Grand Per Month: Should You Incorporate Your Side Income Stream

Sense to Save: How to choose retirement investments for your portfolio

My Dollar Plan: New Pension Plans and Changes to Current Retirement Plans

Financial Highway: How to Improve Credit Score

Weakonomics: The Math Behind Oil’s Hold On The Economy

Next week, Sense to Save will be hosting so be sure to submit your very best posts for consideration!

Follow the Prince’s journey as he proves to his father, the old King, that he’s ready to be included in the will and take on the responsibilities of a kingdom.

And tune in next week when Girls Just Wanna Have Funds hosts the 351st Carnival!

The Editor’s Picks:

Canadian Finance Blog: The Generation Gap

Your Life, Their Life: How much do you spend on food?

Narrow Bridge Finance: How to Build a Social Lending Snowball

Visit the Carnival to see the rest of the Editor’s Picks in all of the Categories.

Be sure to submit your best posts to next week’s Carnival when Well Heeled Blog hosts.

While on a regular road trip pilgrimage to their usual vacation haunt, the second of their two cars had serious trouble: transmission trouble. In fact, the transmission went kerplunk, entirely. Luckily, while it was incredibly inconvenient and costly, no one was hurt when it dramatically died. There was nothing to be done but to replace the transmission, they were told. That ran a good couple thousand dollars.

The second incident was not more than three months later, on the same road to the same destination!

This time they were taking separate cars and the husband pulled over with a flat tire halfway to their destination. The wife wasn’t worried because that car had run flat tires, and she was pretty sure that they should be able to re-inflate the tire enough to get to their destination where they’d deal with the actual problem. As it turned out, that wasn’t good enough.

At the service station they turned into they were informed that run flats can actually only run down to a certain level of flatness. This tire was too low. And only a dealership could repair the tire. It was the weekend, without an open dealer’s maintenance department in sight – and them without a spare.

In the end, our dear friends went through hell and back to get their tire taken care of, and were so exasperated with the process and the product that they ended up paying the dealership they’ve been using for twenty years that sold them the original run flats over $3000 to replace all four tires and wheels with regular tires.

When I related the story to PiC, I think he had a mini-aneurysm.

Overall, money is my thing, but cars are his niche.  Since then, I kept thinking
of the areas where their choices were not the same choices I would make, in general.  For starters, I would have reached out to My Car Guys* for better advice to deal with the situation.

What I’ve Learned Over the Years

*My Car Guys are a group of trusted friends and family: PiC and his friends who are either employed in the car industry with their own expertise or have direct connections to the same because they frequently use their services; a family friend who has been our mechanic for nearly twenty years, he can do any basic maintenance when he’s got time or give us general over the phone advice; my childhood friend who has done his own car maintenance and research over the past fifteen years.

I can trust them to guide me to the right resources when they can’t help me out directly (which isn’t always practical since we’re not longer just down the street from each other or just simply don’t have the time anymore). Which leads me to …

Do your own research. Make sure that you’re consulting reliable resources.

If you’re looking to buy? Start with Edmunds. Kelley Blue Book.

If you’re being quoted services? Know that mechanics actually use prescribed manuals that suggest the number of hours of labor each service should take. The actual cost per hour will vary, of course, but the multiple of hours they’re charging should be within reason. Mechanics use, among others, Alldata and Bentley’s, for reference.

If you’re replacing parts? Know the difference between OEM (original equipment manufacturer) and aftermarket parts before committing to buy. And some parts can be easily found on Craigslist, used and new. PiC buys and sells tires there and they’re easily checked for wear and tear.

Know the true lifespan of your parts.
Today’s modern cars aren’t built to withstand impact like the tanklike models we so fondly refer to but the component parts can last longer than the age-old truisms would have you believe. Most modern and newer cars really do not require an oil change every 3000 miles, if you do some research, you may find that the oil changes can really be done between 5000-7000 miles depending on the car usage.

Other parts should not be stretched past conventional wisdom – it may be tempting to leave it until later because “they’ll last another week/month/several months” and they might squeak by but it can really cause severe damage to other parts of the car. Timing belts, for example, may not obviously give out once past their recommended replacement date, and should be replaced regularly as it can affect the other parts that rely on them.

::What are your go-to resources when it comes to car repair and maintenance?

His Editor’s Picks:

Minting Nickels: What Plants vs. Zombies Taught Me About Paying Off Debt

Saving Advice: 50 Ways to Save Money on Food

The Happy Homeowner: How I Obtained a Masters Degree from Harvard for $500—without Scholarships

Enjoy this week’s collection of blog posts and join us again next week when Sustainable Personal Finance hosts!

Editor’s Picks:

Good Financial Cents: 7 Financial Advisors I would Like to Punch in the Face

Weaknomics: You Have Too Much Crap Because We Won The Cold War

Saving Advice: Money Lessons Learned from Traveling Well.

*****

Up Next Week: Money Q&A!

Submit your best posts for consideration by Sunday afternoon and participate in next week’s Carnival of Personal Finance!

Her Editor’s Picks:

Control Your Cash: Our Appearance on the Suze Orman Show!

Living Richly on a Budget: 7 Easy Menu Planning Ideas

Million Ways to Save: Five FREE Gifts for Valentine’s Day

Thanks to all the contributors who made a great Carnival and to the Jenny Pincher for hosting.

Submit your best posts to next week’s Carnival when One Cent at a Time hosts. -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd-> -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd->

Editor’s Picks:

ChristianPF: Get Your Financial Life on One Page

Watson Inc: Do You Have the Courage to be Wealthy?

Thanks to all the contributors and to Matt for hosting!

Please submit your best posts to next week’s Carnival by Sunday afternoon when The Jenny Pincher hosts. -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd->

Her Editor’s Picks:

Matt About Money: The Purpose of Money

Intelligent Speculator: The Biggest Investing Mistake I’ve Made…

One Cent at a Time: Consumer is King, Believe It or Not. Now Act Like One

Watson Inc.:  Goals are NEVER Enough: 3 Reasons You MUST Cultivate Your Desires.

Thanks to the many participants and our host for putting together this Carnival!

If you’ve got a great post to share, Matt About Money will be hosting next week, be sure to submit by Sunday afternoon EST.

  -LinksStart-> -/LinksEnd->

His Editor’s Picks:

Free Money Finance: What If I Lost My Career? Envision, then Act

Financial Highway: 50 Home Business Ideas

Penny Pinching Professional: Career Fairs Part (II)

Be sure to link back to the posts that you enjoyed, and submit your best posts to next week’s Carnival, hosted by Diva In Debt.

The following blogs will be hosting the Carnival of Personal Finance in early 2012.

For any bloggers who might like to host, please remember you must be an active Carnival participant before hosting. Being a participant also includes linking back to every edition of the carnival in which your article is included.

Hosting guidelines can be found here. The selection process is not based on size of the blog or readership; both big and small blogs alike can benefit from hosting. The schedule is based on variety and flow, and if you’ve successfully and creatively hosted any carnival or round-up in the past, you’d be a strong contender for hosting the Carnival of Personal Finance.

If you would like to be considered for hosting a future edition in March or later in the year, complete this very short request form.

Here is the schedule of upcoming hosts.